I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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