Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
