Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
