paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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