just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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