dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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