People in love make me want to vomit
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize