I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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