If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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