She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
