Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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