A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How's work?
Spinning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
