I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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