yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
