Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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