so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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