she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
