I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
