I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
