he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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