I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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