no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
