Pants 0. Shit 1.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
