so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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