I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
