Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
