Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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