remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
