Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
