Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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