I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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