I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
