yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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