What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
