Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
