Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
