woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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