It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
