Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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