I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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