like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
