just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i would punch a child for taco bell
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
