i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
