i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
