I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
