I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize