In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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