me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
