If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
