im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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