he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
