Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
