Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
