What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
