the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
