I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
