If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
