Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
