Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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