I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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