I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
