Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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