Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
