got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
