I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
