Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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