Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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