Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
