I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
