Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
