I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
