Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
