i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
now i know why i became what i already was.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
