I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nicole vs. Life
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
