I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
