bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
