oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
