She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
