I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
